What up world.

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Matt E. Bonez here. To be honest, I was tired of hearing bougie broads and basic bros tell me their favorite foods were sushi, the pizza in Firenze, OMG, so perf, and the filet mignon at Ruth’s Chris. I had to look back on my life as a former fat person and really think about what favorite meant to me. I came to the conclusion that my favorite type of food is subs. Every time I eat a sub, I thoroughly enjoy it. I could eat four subs a day. That is what favorite means to me. Whether good or bad, morning or evening, weekday or weekend, I love me a sub.

As a young boy rapidly growing in circumference, there was Dino’s in Hopkinton holding me down with a variety of classic subs that Tom E. would bring home every other night of the week. 

                                          Shout out to Bossman-It all starts here.

In Philly, I encountered true sub greatness as legends in the game like Tony Luke, Pat, Geno, DiNic, and D’Allessandro all donned their respective crowns as they cranked out the best cheesesteaks and roast pork sandwiches available on this globe of ours.  Then, I returned to Boston to realize the steak and cheese sub typically sucks, roast pork sandwiches don’t really exist, and $8.00 mediocrity reigns, typically putting a smile on the face of any business bro with a button down, pleated slacks, and boat shoes haunting the Financial District on a weekday afternoon. It was precisely within this bleak, bland, submarine-sandwich purgatory that I set out to locate purveyors who cared about their craft and filled quality sub rolls with primo ingredients.

Boston lacks a true iconic sub to rival the Philly Cheesesteak, Chicago Italian Beef, or New York Pastrami. Yet, here, the Italian rises above all others as our crown jewel. Yet this town also lacks a definitive guide ranking and reviewing subs for the sub searcher.

So begins this blog. Along with my fellow sub expert Ry Will, we bring you the hottest sub reviews in the Bay State.

Though I tend to skew high, I have entered the Second Epoch of Ellam Sub Reviews, which are no longer on the 8-10 spectrum. Now, you will find expert reviews on the 1-10 scale of Italian subs, steak and cheeses, and select pizzas.

The standing Boston title-holders without ratings due to the nature of the first-bite review:

Italian:                         Monica’s Mercato, North End

Steak and Cheese:       Al Capone’s, Downtown

Pizza:                          Santarpio’s, East Boston

For those wondering at home, I take my Italian with everything and hots, no balsamic, my steak and cheese “wit” (onions) and provolone, and my pizza, just cheese for reviews.